Girl Talk: The Best Advice I Ever Got

Posted: March 4, 2013 by ERCPCP Blogger in Uncategorized
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A Sister Chat on Healthy Relationships by Jamedra Aikens (Founder, Royal Proteges)

For as long as I can remember my mother would say “It is better for people to respect you than to like you.” She said it all the time and everywhere.  As a child I didn’t really understand it, but looking back I can say that things my peers threatened such as “I’m not going to be your friend anymore”, “I’m going to take my bike and go in the house”, and my personal favorite “I’m going to tell everyone you…..” were not effective.

Now as a “military brat” who has attended four high schools and I’ve lost count of how many schools total, I have had PLENTY of experience with peer pressure, threats, taunting, and attempted bullying. I can’t honestly say that I followed this advice every time.  Nor can I say that every time I followed this wisdom it had a pleasant outcome. But I can say that every time I follow this advice I feel good about myself, and I know that I am a leader, even if the only person I’m leading is myself.

Let’s look at this word “respect” and its definition as a verb. Respect: to avoid violation of or interference with: to treat with regard, value or esteem.  Now, let’s take this a step further and really break this down. It comes from the Latin “respectus” – literally “to look back at one” and “re” which means “again”. Literally, to look again. So when we think about the true meaning of respect, we should be willing to look at someone, I mean really look at them and VALUE that person.

How does this apply to you?  First, as you go about your day and throughout your life you will come into contact with many different people and you don’t have to like them, or agree with what they say or do;, but let’s take a look at one another and value what we see.  The same is true for what you should expect. If someone claims to be your friend, or says they care for you, their words and actions will make you feel valued.  Any time you are not sure about how to judge someone’s treatment of you or relationship with you, try this; imagine someone said or did ______ to your best friend. How would you feel? Well, be your own best friend. And, in case no one has told you today, you are wonderful!

Visit Royal Proteges online at

Disclaimer:  The opinions expressed in this post are those of the guest contributor and not those of ERCPCP.


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